yay icons !
Jul. 28th, 2025 04:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
need to figure out now if might want to not have any as default , so sort of force to check in and see how really feel . but also easy to forget to select icon anyway , especially in comments , so ... ehh ? plus would feel kind of obligate to go back and restore icon on previous posts ... maybe . eh .
random memory
Jul. 28th, 2025 01:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
so anyway , last time that actually remember step foot in church was in childhood , for some rummage sale . and for some reason , this rummage sale have primed mouse trap just . casually sit on table . and guess who manage to accidentally set off ?
yeah , was lucky enough to not actually get hurt , but just remember adults seem more annoy than concern . like , sorry why was that there at all ? even with only adults around that still just ask for accidents , but especially with kids ! kossai have visual-spatial difficulties , even more so back then , so not always recognise given objects - easy way to find out is to pick up and touch , especially if on table at rummage sale . plenty of situations where should not touch just to identify , but rummage sale expect to touch by very nature !
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Jul. 27th, 2025 11:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
current music: enjoying a quiet morning
current beverage: room temp water
current activity: resting my back (dealing with a flareup)
goal for today: laundry and paleo
i’m looking forward to… hanging out with my mom for a little
i’m feeling grateful for… diy shows :)
notes: i’m working on making friends online and irl and making slow progress.. i really want to start up community events and a scene in town, but i don’t really know where to start. i miss having a community like i had in my old town
(no subject)
Jul. 26th, 2025 01:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
(The website in question had a "collage" kind of design that made it hard to read text on the background, especially since bits of it wound up being white on off-white.)
perhaps relevant:
play faerie games ...
Jul. 26th, 2025 01:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)

with setup like this , could tabletop and journal games possibly get any more faerie ? :P hmm , maybe need set of sparkly gold mini dice too !
personal inventory questions
Jul. 26th, 2025 11:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
definitely do not want to use some random app - want to have full control over format , and if upload any copy to cloud for backup , would like to choose where . really love obsidian , so unless something else absolutely blow out of water , that is what will use .
thing is as well , many of things kossai own ... do not really know brand or origin properly - lots of things lack proper identification , and either too vague to find answers , or apparently too niche . like on one hand , white shirt could mean literally anything - on other hand , this one 20 year old little fairy doll is identifiably from some mattel brand , but can not figure out exact lineup for life because no one else seem to have one .
want to include photos to best ability , no matter how long this process take as result , but that definitely complicate some aspects . potential price estimates , how to find replacements if ever necessary , how to even differentiate entries from each other .
as well , different items have different properties to record . feel like different item types should have different templates to record details , but then , what should each of those templates look like ? is there good purpose to include ISBN for book template ? how many pedantic , anal details should each item profile include ?
pbbbft . basic lists easy , but also not quite enough for what want here .
oops public rant now
Jul. 25th, 2025 10:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
context : some people in tumblr alterhuman community feel there to be far more presence of men than women , but kossai have some frustrations with this assessment from both intersex and bigender perspectives - particularly ideas of who really " count " as men or women .
in terms of whether or not communities have more men than women - which in some parts is also influence by platform and algorithms ...
male femininity , and what people perceive as male femininity , is under extreme scrutiny in this world . people doubt whether really feminine , really " deserve " to be any kind of girl or woman , especially if not fit into specific binary expectations of womanhood - that is to say , without any manhood or masculinity to speak of .
as well , people still heavily associate particular body parts with particular genders . so if someone present with any sort of mix sex traits , people will obsess and assign which parts feminine , which parts masculine , and try to guess which one is " real " .
this make uncomfortable and unsafe situations especially if happen to be intersex , whether or not fall along typical gender binary . to really be intersex woman or intersex man , one must shut up and consider intersex body to be broken toy , to hide and cut away anything people perceive as male femininity - or female masculinity for that matter .
there really is this extreme scrutiny to make sure that femininity is " pure and un-manly " , as if masculinity is some kind of toxic ooze that corrupt . this is something which hurt everyone , but especially those already most vulnerable .
alongside individuals here who can be anyone and anything , collectively kossai is intersex and bigender , man and maiden both . say maiden moreso for aesthetic appeal than anything else - different words for genders have somewhat different connotations after all , whether that be bright bubbly pinks , sparkly red evening dresses , or delicate flowers - but regardless ... yeah , honestly feel unsafe to talk about in general public .
people make too many assumptions , prod too deep into things that have no right to prod , put under scrutiny and try to decide which one really deserve to exist . but there is no way to separate , to exist as only one - both always there , both always extremely important , regardless of what current clothes express .
so - what is perception of who really count as man or woman ? can someone be both ? is there some secret rule that determine which ones get to be women and which ones do not ? how many men hide these identities , hide femininity and womanhood , with knowledge that people will use one gender to invalidate other ? how many women get cast aside from ideas of womanhood unfairly ?
rusted moss ~ yay !!!
Jul. 24th, 2025 09:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
really happy to see this because oh , was literally stuck there for hours try and try and try again , but always come up seconds too short in final room because of fumbly fingers - after already spend immense time on room prior - and have to completely give up . so yeah , can finally finish great climb !
silliness
Jul. 24th, 2025 12:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sometimes also think , like , would be so great to use this feature from this game in that game over there , add some more randomness to whatever system ... or maybe even combine how different games do similar things , see how that change . honestly , even sometimes kind of fun to use gemulator features in games that have no game master to start with .
really love video games because do not have to choose how overall world and story will play out and change - developers already choose that - but there is obviously limitation in that , too . love creativity of tabletop and journal games , but then sometimes almost feel like sheer amount of choice and control overwhelm . honestly spend more time think about tabletop and journal games than actually play :P
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Jul. 24th, 2025 12:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)

(most of) my collected rocks from my desert trip. the left is all cherts and agates. notable in these is the sort of washed out looking chert.. in better lighting it’s actually green! also at the bottom center there’s an agate with pockmarks. these are traces of volatiles such as CO2 bubbling out of the rock as it cooled. volatiles make eruptions much more explosive, so the volcanic activity here would have been intense. this is backed up by the rhyolites i collected (rhyolites are felsic, and felsic magma is “sticky”, which makes the eruption more explosive as well). the two i have here are actually the same formation but look totally different! the bottom right is a classic pink rhyolite is liesegang(-like; this is supposed to only happen in sedimentary rocks!) banding caused by the diffusion of iron-rich minerals during cooling. next to it is a green rhyolite from closer to the core of the formation. the green color is caused by high sodium content! at the top right i have all my limestones. the ones with big calcium crystals are interesting because the macrocrystals represent recrystallization after formation. in the middle are my non-recrystallized limestones. the one with concentric circles is cool because those circles are the remnants of an algal mat! the more rectangular piece shows evidence of rippling in the freshwater environment where it was deposited as well as some algal remnants. when i took this picture i thought the volatile pockmarked agate would be my coolest find, but the next day we found what we THINK (none of us are paleontologists) are fossilized plant roots. they absolutely look organic and you can even see some of the pattern the potential stem would have had. if we’re correct these are probably reed-like plants living in a shallow lake environment. this is supported by a previous researcher’s discovery of freshwater snail fossils and what he also suspected to be plant stems. we really need to get a paleontologist out there
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Jul. 24th, 2025 01:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)

today was so wonderful, i had such a good time. i worked a while and then went to a show where i found a new band to listen to and got a cd from a band i’d seen before. i just took one of the best walks i’ve ever taken in my life. i sang along to an album i was worried i would never be able to listen to again. and i did all that in my favorite shoes because the zipper’s finally fixed!
post-NDE and surgery ...
Jul. 23rd, 2025 09:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
not really about NDE in self , but some of events around NDE .
medical talk , medical neglect , some serious disgust and bullshit .
mushroom musume ~ quality of life progress !
Jul. 23rd, 2025 02:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
muto
assertive analog poison pie ... so yeah , did try gala with thief here , but unfortunately could only get 3 out of 5 items due to wrong traits . still , really fun event , and will be super fun to go again !
talula
thickening brown chanterelle , who climb great mountain - and live to tell tale , with promise that knight atop mountain will kill anyone else who take inspiration from talula's story . bittersweet success .
babi
elegant white tuft , who become master painter ! now able to make custom palettes for game . also relocate eyeflower into mushroom village green district , but not sure yet if this is persistent effect - will have to check again another time . on bright side , was also able to put tons of gold shrooms in garden , which means ...
nala
looming grey ink cap ... this is what build up for ever since realise : creepy daughter to go to school and become teacher's pet , in order to get mushy apple garden item . well worth effort , daughters will actually be literate from now on ! on top of that , all that extra gold allow nala to actually buy house in mushroom village . finally !
garden can be kind of cumbersome if not actually understand yet , but absolutely worth effort to learn .
fun thought
Jul. 23rd, 2025 11:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fae farm ~ really odd line
Jul. 23rd, 2025 09:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
like , people know that abandoned objects pick up ambient magic and become angry creatures , so ... just ... allow that to happen , not treat objects with reverence and care ? and pretty much every substantial problem is just result of hungry or cranky nature spirit that act out , just need some food and kind words and everything is immediately OK again .
and like ... have nothing against games that just want to be cosy , comfortable , and inclusive , but approach means everything - and think fae farm approach weirdly sometimes . for one thing , have character like aspen who is in wheelchair - who is essentially stuck in market square for all of time because of bumpy stone bridges , steep hills , and stairs that wheelchair could not possibly navigate , not that player can ever see navigate anyway . just feel sort of empty like , yeah , need wheelchair guy somewhere !
but main topic here : there is this potion seller NPC who player can talk and learn from , and in one line of dialogue say that someone try to order love potion , so instead give jar of bees .
sorry what ??? look , kossai hate love potion tropes too , but this one little line that try to be cute and subversive of idea is now just really out of place sour reminder that hey , people sexually assault each other here too ! could this be one of beloved townsfolk , even ? no details , and so out of place with overall vibe , that this line just plant really uncomfortable seed .